Ultimo Beauty, best known for its “Miracle Solutions Plunge Bra with silicone gel that can add up to two cup sizes,” recently conducted a study on women’s views on their assets. Results showed that “women are most happy with their breasts in their mid-20s, with 38 percent saying that was when they were most satisfied.”
When they crunched the numbers further, they discovered that “British women rate their boobs most highly when they hit 26.” What’s a 26-year-old look like? Think Lindsay Lohan, Megan Fox or Lady Ga Ga.
When I think back, I remember some things about my 26th year: my job (I worked at the Jewish Exponent in Philadelphia), my apartment (a townhouse in Roxborough), my husband (that same Dr. Ted who I’m still married to!), and my dog Ginger (a Cairn terrier who looked like Toto in The Wizard of Oz,) but it’s hard to imagine my 26-year-old boobs and how they looked compared with my 24- or 28-year old boobs.
So I brought out an old photo album and searched for my 26-year-old self. I found a picture of me in a bikini on the beach at a Club Med in Guadeloupe, and I looked damn good. I guess I could vote for 26, too.
THE TEEN YEARS
Next, Ultimo found that “a wistful 28 percent of women admitted they thought theirs were best during their teenage years.”
I wouldn’t agree: My breasts didn’t amount to much in my teen years. I was envious of the friend in my middle-school crowd who was the first to develop and wear a bra. If she were British, she would have been one of the 28 percent, I suspect, because when I saw her as an adult, it turned out she was an early starter, rather than a strong finisher.
What changed for me between ages 16 and 26? I gained a little weight, and my breasts, which are made up primarily of fatty tissue, were the beneficiaries. Unfortunately, these days when I gain some weight, it goes straight to my butt or my hips, not to my chest. Not fair.
Finally, Ultimo’s survey revealed, “One in seven (14 percent) claim they were at their best in their 30s.” My breasts were at their peak, so to speak, when I was in my 30s, specifically at ages 32 and 35 when I was pregnant with my son and then my daughter. Thank you, children. However, the size increase was not long-lasting. After I stopped breastfeeding, I returned to my pre-pregnancy size.
What does the future hold? It doesn’t hold up your breasts. “Generally things start heading south after women hit their late 20s,” the survey concluded.
You could consider options, like a breast lift or a good support bra that does the lifting for you – bras with names like “Ultimate Lift” or “Magic Lift.” The survey didn’t talk about what happens to breasts when they turn 65. But we know that they’ll get some good “perks” – like $2 off on a movie ticket and a discounted cup of coffee at McDonald’s. Now that’s something to look forward to.